Today is a dull day

It's month end today, and this one is particularly interesting as it's march, so end of a quarter as well. Clients do something called window dressing, essentially you have no idea where the market is, reason is: funds trade so that the market fits their portfolio. It is not market manipulation in and of itself, it's just an absolute random walk as a fund might inflate the price of a stock just to look good in front of investors.
With such forces acting like this, it's really hard to understand how some people still try to trade in and out of stocks without any real understanding of the market.

That was a pretty pointless paragraph. But funny quote today: colleague told me he was drinking coke without caffeine or sugar. I asked him what's the fucking point? To mix with my vodka... Can't really beat that. Trying to stay away from alcohol at the moment, went out with some friends last night to some pub and then abacus (the city's meat market); I hadn't been there for a while, and at around 9:30PM the amount of alcohol I had ingurgited still did not make any of the girls around me attractive to me. So what did I do? Went home to my girl friend as I missed her. I finally know what being completely in love means.

Good.

Melancholy

I feel a hole inside of me, melancholy comes in and feels it. I have been living in this city for more than five years now. Working in the banking industry, and starting work on the desk the day Lehman brothers collapsed. You can say I am part of the lost generation, the young unemployed with crushed dreams and no where to go.

I have a job, and held it, I make a decent living; and yet, I still consider myself lost. How? I eat at good restaurants, money is not an issue, and my struggle is at work not outside.

What I see is a world that has been crushed, with hopes and dreams completely unavailable to the vast majority of people surrounding me. Unfairness in the system, and incomprehension of life by the vast majority of our society. I thank my experience within the banking system, it allowed me to see further than I ought to see. It's not the bankers and their excesses that have disgusted me, banking is only a minor part of the problem; banking is like the oil that lets the shredder shred life away from you and me.

We go and look for problems outside of our neighborhoods, we go to Somalia and talk about their problems, without even realising that we have a beam stuck deep inside of our eyes. We externalise our problems, it's much easier to deal with our existence this way.

When I will have children my salary will not be enough to allow them happiness. The world needs to change.